Finally

You finally show your turn colour.


After all my happening, i finally see thru many ppl de ture colour. I realli cannot imagine that someone whom i realli trust end up treating me like a stranger. Things happen liao then i knw that in this world got so many different kinds of ppl who are wearing a mask and 笑里藏刀. Beware of all this ppl. They are realli scary. They may be good to you but the ending is you will nv knw how you die and why you die.

Jus happen that today i went to check on my friendster. I realise tat ppl deleted mi from msn and even friendster. Msn even block mi. Fine i dun mind. But the problem is i trust her so much and i even treat her like my elder sister whom i can approach and find whenever i have any problems BUT END UP SHE TREATING MI LIKE THAT. REALLI CANNOT IMAGINE.
She deleted/ blocked me from msn and friendster. She is treating me not her friend anymore.

i realli very disappointed. Now i can onli treat that she is jus a by-passer in my life who jus come and stop and go. i am acting like a bus stop and she is the bus. I not nothing to say about her anymore.

Sian!!!

Quite long nv update liao, Cos 1st is no time, 2nd is too lazy and 3rd is no mood.

21/8/08, (thurs)

Wad a day for today cos today is the 4th day in my new company for my Temp job. Got to knw this job thru agent. www.recuitexpress.com . you ppl can give it a try if you are currently jobless, they will keep on calling and telling you that there are suitable job for you. Do you wanna go and haf a try and come for an interview pls.

Went to so many interviews and finally this Company, Yosun Singapore Pte Ltd accepted mi. HAHA... So fast they nv even see mi b4 and they wan mi. HAHAH....... Then Rachel, my agent. Jus ask mi to go to sign my contract and work here for 2 MONTHS.... ARgh! WTH so long.

1St day come in and look see, Realli look see. Nothing to do.
2nd Day - Start to learn things liao. More and More liao. So confused.
3rd Day - MORE and CONFUSED

I realli dun like the life here, Cos this is not the job i wan to work in ! Am i realli suit for warehouse? Cos i still miss the warehouse life. BUT not back to my original Company. Working there is like HELL and No Day No Nite. All my Time is like given to them, No Freedom at all realli Sux.


Ladt friday to Sunday went to Sylvia's 21th Birthday Chalet. Onli go at nite as in the Afternoon got to go and sign contract. then at nite went to collect my liquor from laurence GOH (uncle)
Then meet Sandy and go to find them. Reach there go and buy the things they wan. SO HEAVY.
When we reach Aloha Chalet, Still have to wake very far as the chalet is at the last unit. sea View lei. HEHE put down things liao then i feel, HUNGRY~

After all the neccessary things, PLay MJ hehe and that time is around 2+ Am liao. Start to feel Tired and sleepy. we stop and then go and do wad? BLOW BALLOONS. Until 4+, I cannot tahan liao, I drag my feet and back to my room and YAWNS~

The Next day so early wake mi up, 9-10+ I still wanna sleep, We walk out to Downtown east and eat BF, Next mi, lionel and joyce went to white sand and walk walk and pass time. Then come back liao we play MJ again, haha nothing to do. While the rest went to seng siong and buy things, we go in different groups.

At nite ppl start to come liao, We start all the BBQ liao. The birthday cake is a HELLO KITTY KEy lei. So nice and cute. After all the party, Our turn to have Party. My bear come liao and we have to eat and then drink liquor. Until very late then we go and sleep liao. Then ar the next day very early wake up and then we says that we go off first cos very tired and then took cab home and went to his hse and sleep. Then from 11 am sleep until 5pm. Then next STEAM BOAT time. haha

After that he went ot work and then Time home for mi. HEHE

15/08/2008

PISSED OFF

National Day

090808 sat was not a good day for mi.

Alot of thing happen and i am not happy. Until i went drinking i then feel happy.
In the morning is sms sylvia i maybe not joining them for the watch fireworks at nite as i didn't sleep the whole nite when i was home at 3 am. And i toss until 6a.m I'm still very awake and my eye was opening so wide and looking at the ceiling. I also cant take medicine due to drinking. Haha Can imagine that if i eat the medicine now? I think i will be lying in the hospital liao. PI PU PI PU !!!! watch tv and serve net then Around 1 plus. decided to go out and look see look see. ( someone taught mi. Go out and walk in between the ppl and feel that i am one of them in) Very funny is this someone i haven even meet him b4. We onli contact thru fone and chat on the fone. But is relax to know him, He knws how to make ppl laugh when sad, Listen to your problems, Console you and even give advise. Thank you to you Mr Goh.

Ytd i nv talk much to bear. I also dunno why jus keep quiet and look at him then walkout or face back him. Until after lunch at 3 pm. I went to his room to sleep. [ i think back also funny, i also dunno how i got to his hse, i jus follow my foot steps and then listening to mp3 then took the bus and walk ]

* back to the topic.

I went to his room and sleep. But i still cant sleep so i jus close my eye and pretend to sleep. But think after a while i realli fall asleep then he come and hug mi and sleep I jus simply love the feeling of him hugging mi and sleep i then feel there is a warmth. After a while My nites mares come liao. I dream that all ppl in ofc are coming after mi and forcing mi until i cant make it already. I cried and i also dunno that my crying is im realli crying. Bear wake mi up and ask mi wad happen. I so drowzy then i fall asleep again. I think i realli sleeping liao. I jus heard him calling mi but my eye jus cant open. Peace for a while liao, later the nitemares come again. I realli very scare. Bear wake mi up and ask mi wad happen i jus keep quiet and went out to the rooms lay on the sofa and cry. But 2 min later later i wen to his room again. This time i give mi a sms.

" I dun wan to be your burden"

He immediate grab mi and so serious and look at mi asking mi is it i dun wan him? His tears Flow down. The fact is i dun wan him to think that i am sick and i am a burden to him. I rather i suffer alone and he can be free from mi and not having any problems. But i am wrong. He told mi very seriously he wun let mi suffer alone. he pull mi up and i cried like nobody business. I really very scare. I dun wan this sickness to be with mi . I wan to be free from this sickness. I hug him tightly and cry Until like goldfish. He promise mi he wun lei mi suffer alone. He wan mi to take the medicine and everything will be normal.


After crying both hungry searching for foods liao. We went to eat the zhu chao. Ordered one curry fish head . Yum yum very nice hmm... but too satly liao. Then one tou fu and one black peper beef . are you hungry liao? Guess all this cost $35.50. Is it cheap? I think yes ba cos got the fish head. Too bad he got work , Nite shift. Then cant realli acompany him.


JWSS, When you all wan to go out? I realli wan to have nite lifes. Chalet time ba on this coming fri.Think it will be a releaxing time for mi. I will tell you all more ok? I dun mind sharing wif you all.


ps. Drinking realli make mi happy.

National Day

09082008 Sat

Ytd was not a very good national day for mi. I nv Realli get to sleep In the early nite. Early morning not feeling very good then sms sylvia that i maybe not joining them for the late nite celebration liao. Then i nv sleep, in fact i went out walk alone in the streets, walking inbetween the crowds feel that i am one of them. ( taught by someone whom i nv see b4 but onli contact thru fone, but nvm will get to see him this coming fri). After walking alone, I went to bear hse and find him. I also dunno where i am going jus follow my heart and my foots steps see where i wan to go i will jus go. Finally i went to his hse knocking on his window to get him open sesame for mi. I went i lay down beside him with my eye opened. NOT CLOSE AND SLEEP. WHY? At the point of time my mind is totally blank. I dunno wad i am thinking or wad. I jus stare at the ceiling and building sand castle in the air. Toss here and there until he wake up and look at mi. I jus simply say nothing and back face him again.


At about 2 pm, his mothe came back from work and she tabao lunch for mi ( bear called her to tabao) Normally i will wait for him to wake up and eat together But i dunno why i'm jus too hungry and i did tell him at all. we totally keep quiet and did talk much. Is it cos ytd i told him i like nite lifes and i like to drink. Now i realise that drinking make mi happy !!! I'm too hungry until i went to kitchen and find the chips that i bot for mahjong session. Not in kitchen then must be in the fridge liao indeed is inside i took and i open up and eat sitting infront of the tv.

life is better

Being at home for this past few days for my rest, the feeling is super duper relax. Now i knw that the feeling of being at home is good. I last time nv treasure the feeling of at home. At home i can do wadever i wan, i can online and as and when i can sleep and i can update my blog good rite?


Last nite went drinking wif my bear bear. The whole nite he wasn't like the normal him, is it that i am around? But i enjoy drinking wif him, talk to him and see him playing wif his friend and disturb eachother. National day drinking in a pub, wad a good way of celebrating singapore birthday. I jus enjoy sitting there drinking and listen to music and see some uncles and aunty dance. Although the ways the daces make mi laugh but is realli enjoyable. Can i have more nites life? I will take care of myself one. I am an adult liao. I knw wad is good and wad is bad, although i was always bully by some small ppl and ppl who take dagger and stab mi. But i still knw how to protect myself. I like the feeling of nite life. Why you can have nite life i cannot? Unfair. You says that you scare that things will happen? The history will repeat? I can tell you it THIS WUN HAPPEN. I WUN LET THE HISTORY REPEAT. I USE MY LIFE AND SWEAR.


Allow mi to have my nite lifes ok? I have miss out alot of my nites lifes liao.

Reach home at 3 am. Till now. 12.28pm ( 9/8/08 sat) afternoon sunny. I AM STILL AWAKE.
I haven realli close my eyes and sleep yet. Can help mi? I need my Sleeping pills.

A Shock for myself

Ytd 05/08/08 (tue)

Ytd is jus a normal day for mi to go back to work after my leave on monday. On sat i stay until so late then i had planned everything for my both side of warehouse for releasing of some customers goods. Already double confirm that everything was fine. But end up i receive i call from office on monday saying that do you knw that the other warehouse claim that i nv inform them got any releasing then call and clarify wif mi. Then fact is i did plan. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ONE WHO IS THE BAD PERSON? i dun bother liao cos i on leave is wan to have some peace.


Tue morning i went back to work as usual then when i come in so many things not done. Waiting for who? God to help? Stupid woman dunno how to work. Anyway you wun see mi already.
I clear all the neccessary things and at least can have a time to rest. at this point of time went in to get signature of aknowledgement. End up wad i got? scaractic comment. NVM i endure, i come out and i treat everything as per normal. Work laugh and eat and drink, but in my heart i am very depressed. I dunno wad happen at first until at nite i am realli having this sickness.

In the afternoon i got alot of different attitude and all different kinds or wording and expression from different kinds of ppl. Wad kind of ppl are you all? Wearing mask and work? Cos is your real self? I very curious aint' you all tired of wearing mask and work? example. One day A and B went on half day leave. A says that gng to hospital and visit a friends. B says that gng out wif sister to a shop for sales.. 1230 Times up B smoking and A came down. So fake hear alo knw.

A: " eh you also no leave ar? "

B: " yah lor you also meh? "

* at this time looking at each other lor.

Then as the bus went off both alight at the same stop. Then the very next day B came wif a new bag and nice. But nv knw that after a few days there is a loop hole in their conversation.

A: " Remember that day we say that bag i saw ppl take liao."

B: " Which one? is it that one? "

* at the point of time their conversation stop and look at eachother.


Stop acting la. If wanna act go to channel 8 and act la. Wad a wonderful scene i had watch.

ain't you all tired of everyday wearing mask and work, face ppl? can you reveal yourself and be nature? I think for all the ppl in there are difficult. So i think i have problems coordinating wif them already. Times up.

2/08/08

Second day of August, Nw timing 3.30pm. (sat) i'm still in office.


Recently alot of things happen. i can say that is unhappy more than happy. I'm mentally tired more than physically tired. Can anyone understand that feeling? I think working together wif mi de ppl all understand ba. Is Realli terrible horrible horigible.


Ytd 1st day of the hungry ghost festival. Went to watch movie wif rachel. Guess wad we watched money not enuff II. I grade this movie so so onli as the first part is realli realli boring. They promote all the things like MLM like that. Wad pollen pills de. Can sure all kinds of illness. Bull if can cure, why need doctor? Realli stupid Ideas. The show that nice is onli at the ending of the show onli. The climax is onli that little part. Wasting money? I also dunno as hoping to destress onli.

All day long quarrel wif someone who is so fake wearing mask to work the whole day. YOu will nv knw when she will take one dagger and stab you at your back. But i think i had being stabbed alot of things maybe thousands of times million of times? Fake ppl will onli use this kind of dirty tricks to get the favour. Wad's the use? If you can work means can if can BYE!


Now working in office my mouth are full or 3 letters words. Facing this kind of ppl is wasting my time! I dun wish to have any conflicts BUT too bad, She give mi the attitude, From the days she start work and till nw I think i have enuff of it already. Not that i wan to show back of wad childish? I admit i am at this point in time.But i Wan to let her knw wad is the feeling when other ppl is showing wad she had shown to other ppl.

AN EYE FOR AN EYE